Riiiight.
Have you ever noticed, my fellow newly singles, that everyone reminds you of your singleness? Well-meaning friends constantly ask if you're okay. Your mom calls to check up on you, see how you're doing "since that jerk made his bad decision that he'll regret for the rest of his life."
The rest of his life? Really? I highly doubt he'll regret losing me for the rest of his life. That's a really long time.
There is a secret part of me that would absolutely love for that to happen, though. Him to die of old age... still wishing he hadn't lost me. A fitting revenge for hurting my heart, right?
But life never turns out like that. He probably has a new girlfriend already. Blonde, great rack, somehow incredibly intelligent and witty. Great in bed, a triplet who enjoys adventuresome sex. THAT, my friends, is how the world seems to work.
The only really great thing about being newly single.. is that all your friends are willing to go out with you at your request. And you get the first pick of the hotties at the bar.
No comments:
Post a Comment